Children's Songs I Never Should Have Known

The Things are starting to love sing-songy rhythmic songs. They memorize them almost immediately and can bust out with a tune to everyone from the checkout stand at Safeway to an intimate dinner with the grandparents.

So far, I'm a rhyming nightmare. Pulling from my own bigoted childhood, here's what I've come up with so far from the delves of Kindergarten songs I remember:

"My name is L-I, L-I chick-a-lie, chick-a-lie, pom pom beauty don't like whiskey, Chinese, Japanese [pulling on my eyes to make them slanted] Indian chief!"

"Miss Lucy had a steamboat, the steamboat had a bell ding, ding, Miss Lucy went to heaven and the steamboat went to HELLo operator, please give me number 9, and if you disconnect me I will chop off your BEHIND the refrigerator, there was a piece of glass, Miss Lucy sat upon it and it went right up her ASSk me no more questions, I'll tell you no more lies, the boys are in the bathroom pulling down their FLIES are in the kitchen the bees are in the park, the boys are girls are kissing in the dark!"

"Whistle while you work! Hitler is a Jerk! Miss Mary pulled his willy and now it doesn't work!"

Oh man, I need a trip to Hicklebees.