Friday, February 29

FuckerMotherFucker The Dow is Down 200 Points

shitfuckfuckshit....we need some pre IPO stock.

Wednesday, February 27

Watch Til the End...

Tuesday, February 26

Starbucks Closing for Three Hours Tonight

Holy shit. I might just implode. Not from the lack of java but for the sheer excitement that our local Starbucks on Meridian and Willow just might train their employees to be anything more than lazy, obnoxious, f-ups.

Can't wait! Maybe those pricks on the corner will get a customer service ass kicking they've been deserving for three years.

An Ordinary Extraordinary Sunday

Roses, a card, kids singing, breakfast in bed...A visit to Little Thing, a browse around Target...spaghetti dinner at Mom's. I can't believe I have a life with such richness, that I am so damn well cared for that today was a strangely ordinary day, my Birthday.

Lucky girl.

Saturday, February 23

Death, Life and the Bated Breath In-Between

My best friend's grandmother died at about Midnight on Thursday, just about an hour before our La-la went into labor.

I watched our beautiful niece come into the world after 29 hours of labor, mucked-up epidurals (two!), power outtages and extraordinary will.

Her beautiful cherry red lips and jet black are the true combination of her Slovak-Mexican parents. We're naming her Little Thing in this blog from today on, although her real name is so beautiful and suits her so well.

New life and old death...just yet another example of God's relentless pursuit of balance in our lives.

Wednesday, February 20

From HillBlog Today

"We're putting everything on the line. Contribute $5 now. I am counting on your leadership and financial support. Please do all you can -- and act as quickly as possible. -- Thanks, Hillary

Eeesh. Desperation. Sets. In. Gasping. For. Air. Can't. Breathe. Can't. Win.

I hope to hell she does the next month gracefully...

Tuesday, February 19

Quotes of the Day

"The space shuttle Columbia blew up. Everybody died, so they made new people and a new plane. Someone had better tell God about that." --Thing 2

"Mr. Rogers is playing with animals. Does he sleep with animals? Are people that sleep with animals called Veterinarians?"-- Thing 2

There are PEOPLE on Mars? Do they eat CHICKEN? They eat CHICK-EN? -- Thing 1

"Why are there not any dark skinned ballet dancers?" -- Thing 2 (as mommy began Googling The Harlem Ballet)

"My teacher said her Internet was broken. I told her that it was La Gringa's fault because she's on the Internet and she probably did it." -- Thing 1

Monday, February 18

Yeah, we're actually this happy

What Happens at Thea... never happened. :)

Training Wheels Come Off Part II

Training Wheels Come Off!

Look at her go! (She got even a few more pedals in on the next ride!)

Friday, February 15

That's a United States Senator and the Most Powerful Woman in Media You're Fucking With

I really don't give a shit about tabloids and I never, ever pick one up, muchless give the lying bastards the satisfaction of buying their crap. For the most part, headlines like "Aliens Landing in South Texas" and "Mystery Cornfield Revealed" don't bug me. Even the Princess Di beating the dead to death stories don't phase me and I must say, I believe celebrities are fair game.

That said, I draw the line with this tabloid cover. I want to be really clear here, who the heck do you think you are to fuck with a man who is a United States Senator running for the highest office in our country? Who is the dipwit who thought it was a good idea to take the most powerful woman in entertainment (who won her seat through blood, sweat, tears and good old fashioned kickass business sense) and position her against a man she supports politically?

You fricking rat bastards, have some respect for the man who just might be the one protecting your sorry First Amendment Ass.

Tuesday, February 12

Separation Anxiety (mine)

Thing 1: I like Will's room.

Thing 2: I like Grace's room.

Mommy: Do you really want your own rooms?

Things: YES!!!!!!

Mommy: This is not my decision; it's yours. You talk about it together and tell me what you want to do.

Thing 1: "Thing 2, I need to talk to you. I want my own room. I want a boy room."

Thing 2: "I want my own room too! I want a girl's room! I want to have girly time."

Thing 1: "Are you sure?"

Thing 2: "YES!"

Thing 1: "Are you really, really sure. What if you miss me? If I miss you I will go down the hallway in the dark with bluepuppy and sleep in your bed, okay, Thing 2?"

Thing 2: "I will miss you, but it's okay. I can go to your room and sleep on your trundle bed."

Thing 1: "Are you sure?"

Thing 2: "I'm sure, Thing 1!"

Thing 1: "Are you really, really sure?"

Thing 2: "Yes, I'm sure"

Thing 1: "Then this conversation is over. We will have our own rooms now." 9 p.m. last night, Thing 1 had his own room.

George Clooney: Ego Maniacs Gone Wild!

I Swear I Don't Remember "Super Delegates" in my 5th Grade Social Studies Class...

Wednesday, February 6

Woth 2.5 minutes (even if you're a scary Mormon conservative).

Well, this video wouldn't make me run out and vote for Obama, but it sure as heck makes me want to buy Wil.I.Am's single Yes We Can.

According to Wil.I.Am (the Black Eyed Peas dude), he wrote this piece after the New Hampshire primary and celebrity friends jumped on-board. He told ABC that he has no idea of Obama even knows about the video. It's not sponsored or supported by the politician or political group.

You gotta give it to a guy that inspires people enough to write a song is about him. Obama's now in the Norma Jean -- Lalia -- Stacey's Mom club.

Monday, February 4

Hey John!: En Una Boca Cerrada, No Entran Moscas

Okay, so Chelsea might have been an ugly kid and I might have had some really hardcore foul language for people who tortured me. I might even hint at Putin being KGB-eque, but I'm not cool with McCain being ruler of the free world:

* In 1998, McCain was chastised for making an off-color joke at a Republican fundraiser about President Clinton's daughter, Chelsea, saying "Why is Chelsea Clinton so ugly? Because her father is Janet Reno."

* McCain openly used the term "gook", in reference to his Vietnamese torturers during the Vietnam War, even since his return as a POW.[42] During the 2000 presidential campaign, he repeatedly refused to apologize for his continued use of the term, stating that he reserved its reference only to his captors.

* In March 2007, McCain apologized for using the term "tar baby" in response to a question in Cedar Falls, Iowa, about overturning divorce court decisions. Although he was not using the term in reference to African Americans, he agreed he was wrong to use a term that some view as having racist overtones.

* During a campaign appearance in Murrells Inlet, South Carolina on April 18, 2007, McCain was asked a question about possible military action against Iran. He responded by singing “Bomb bomb bomb, bomb bomb Iran” to the melody of the Beach Boys' song "Barbara Ann", reminiscent of a 1980 parody by Vince Vance & The Valiants. When later confronted about the matter, McCain stated, "My response is lighten up, and get a life." Asked whether the joke he made was insensitive, McCain retorted, "Insensitive to what? The Iranians?"

* During a taping of The Daily Show on April 24, 2007, host Jon Stewart asked McCain, "What do you want to start with, the bomb Iran song or the walk through the market in Baghdad?" McCain responded by saying, "I think maybe shopping in Baghdad ... I had something picked out for you, too — a little IED to put on your desk."

* On May 18, 2007, during a meeting to negotiate immigration legislation, McCain swore at fellow Senator John Cornyn (R-Texas) after Cornyn expressed concerns about the number of appeals that illegal immigrants could receive. According to multiple sources, Cornyn told McCain, "Wait a second here. I've been sitting in here for all of these negotiations and you just parachute in here on the last day. You're out of line," to which McCain replied, "Fuck you! I know more about this than anyone else in the room.

Holy shit, this guy could be the leader of the free world?

Mommy Power

This was emailed by a mom I know today to one of my mommy playgroups.

This is an open invitation to drop your kids(s) off for a short
playdate on Tuesday so that you can vote tomorrow. I know that there
are many obstacles for us Moms to get out and do things on our lists,
so I'm hoping that I can help you overcome one of them. I have
personally been inspired by a candidate this year that each one of us
CAN make a difference.

This is not a bid to get your vote for one candidate- whether you're a
democrat, republican or independent etc. Just be heard tomorrow and VOTE!

Call or email is you think you'll be stopping by-but also feel free to
drop in if you find a few moments. I will be home all day!

Never, Ever Underestimate the Power of the Mommys.

Sunday, February 3

It's an Oath You Crazy Freak

Presidential Oath of the United States of America:

"I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will faithfully execute the office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States."

Presidential Candidates Mike Huckabee (on wanting to ban abortion and same-sex marriage in order to bring the U.S. in line with "God's standards)':
"I believe it's a lot easier to change the Constitution than it would be to change the Word of the Living God."

Presidential Debate Couch Potato, La Gringa:
"It's called 'separation of church and state', crazy freak."

...but maybe Governor Huckabee will just change that part of the Constitution too.