Sketchy at Best... My Letter to Secretary of State

Hello Secretary of State:

There is a question that has been strongly discussed in our community this week.

In short, without bias:

1. The Baptist Church of Willow Glen (in San Jose) has been vocal and strong advocates of pro-Prop 8. That is the church's prerogative, of course.

2.However, this same church was an official POLLING LOCATION for the county.

3. This weekend, the church, which donated funds to the Yes on Prop 8 initiative, gave a strong sermon on why Prop 8 should be upheld. (and lectured on the benefits of opposing same-sex-marriage).

My concern, and those of the community around us, is that the Willow Glen Baptist Church acts as a legal California voting location, yet financially and, more importantly, socially, strongly and verbally support Prop 8.

Although we do not allow demonstrators withing 100 feet, I believe, of a polling location, this church, Willow Glen Baptist Church, preaches strongly on political issues, then acts as a legal and official polling location for residents. I find this not only abhorrent, but unjust. And beyond unjust, it is frightening for those who are selected to vote at this location.

Thank you.

Stolen Post from Let California Ring

I read this today on Let California Ring. I thought it was very well written.


10 Ways to Start Conversations About The Freedom To Marry

1. Think about it—what if you were told that you couldn't marry the person you loved? How would that make you feel, or change your relationship, your future plans and your life?

2. Two people in a committed, trusting and loving relationship deserve the dignity and support that come with marriage.

3. People can have different beliefs and still treat everyone fairly.

4. It is a joy to see my son/daughter and his/her partner together and a part of our family.

5. Discrimination is wrong no matter who it affects. We must work together to fight against discrimination, wherever it appears.

6. Tradition is important in our family. That’s why we’ve invited our son/daughter’s partner to be a part of our family traditions and celebrations.

7. It is not for me to judge other people. Just because I disapprove of something does not mean that it’s wrong.

8. Many couples stay together for years and not only face discrimination, but
many other challenges. In spite of these challenges, these couples remain courageous in the face of opposition and deeply committed to building happy lives together.

9. When gay and lesbian couples get married, they may finally be recognized as being part of the extended family.

10. Domestic partnerships don't provide the same security as marriage. They exclude people from marriage and create an unfair system that often does not work in emergency situations when people need it most.


...for the record, La Gringa and I have no plans to marry until the unions are federally recognized because only then does the tax break make sense for us (thank god for great CPAs who ran the numbers for us on the options of DP, marriage, single status). By the way, might we change our minds? Maybe. ;)

Five Lessons for Michelle Obama from the First Lady of Class -- My Mom

Dear Michelle,

I don't think there are words to describe how we feel about you being the next First Lady of the United States of America -- I can't imagine how you must feel.

I had a dream about you last night. In my dream, I was at my mom's house, and you were at the kitchen island having a glass of wine. My mom was laughing, you were laughing. Your girls were playing with Thing 1 and Thing 2 in the backyard. My parent's house, always warm and welcoming, was filled with more of the same. You were one of us.

I asked what you were doing there and you said you were getting advice from my mom. I nodded and walked out of the room. Of course you were getting advice from her, who wouldn't?

I woke up smiling. My mom has spend decades advising, guiding, leading top women in business and life. Her lessons have guided dozens of famous and near famous, powerful and influential people. Here are a few of my favorites:

1. There is always a storm. You will be looked to to be the calm that sees the cloudless sky off in the distance. However quietly, subtly, you must guide the ship in the right direction. Be the calm in the storm, mama always told me.

2. No one cares as much about anything you are or do as much as you do. So, the dramas of life are only what you let on. Don't bother feeding into drama. It's a waste of time.

3. Never curse. Never. It is simply not ladylike. Always be a lady.

4. Women are generally not truly liked by other women in business. In most ways, they are more competitive than men are with one-another. Use your wit, your mind and your smile to defeat threatened women.

5. You are a mother. There is nothing greater than this. Work/life balance is easy to attain when you've got that straight.

You will never read this, but mom will. And it was a cool dream. And I'm still trying to master these top five lessons from the First Lady of Class.

My Prop 8

Last night we as Californians gave more rights to animals and fewer to same-sex couples. It's mind-baffling.

I have never believed in the idea of gay marriage -- mostly for the icky visual. @LaGringa and I fighting over who had the better dress, nudging our way down the aisle, who would walk first? We've laughed about what a wedding to us would look like, and for both of us, it wouldn't look like anything. We've got our families, the bling, the house and, almost weekly, get the giggles after 11 years of friendship.

But what I've learned through this process is that I *do* believe in gay marriage for one single reason: I believe in the civil rights afforded to every person, irregardless of who they go to bed with at night. On Sunday night, I started to panic -- what if Prop 8 passes and we didn't do anything to help? Are we hypocrites? Are we failing a community we've so deliberately shied away from? Would people I know ever vote to take away my basic civil rights they themselves are afforded?

On Monday I Twittered about where to dig up a 'No on Prop 8' sign and I was directed to the Democratic HQ in San Jose. As I walked in, a group of people were leaving to go hold signs at the main train station. I grabbed two signs and ran home to change clothes. If I was going to stand up publicly, I wanted to look as girly as possible.

At the train station I was surrounded by other No on Prop 8 sign holders. Many of them were from my town, several had their kids in tow. These folks weren't some radical freaks, they were moms and dads giving an hour of their own time. An hour to a parent is so precious. Not even one person I demonstrated with was in a same-sex relationship. NOT ONE. These were parents of young children, smart, educated, friendly, kind people who stood by me on a rainy Monday night to fight for MY rights, not theirs. I have rarely been so humbled.

I carried my sign around all day on Tuesday, stopping at random places where Yes on Prop 8 folks gathered. I did not speak (and you know for me, that's a feat), instead, I smiled. I held my little sign that said, "Equality for All" on major street corners in San Jose and Campbell. I got waves and honks and smiles and thumbs up. Once I got a "boo!" and twice someone screaming out their car, "Yes on 8!", but hey, I was good a good target. A buddy of mine saw me and pulled over, came to the median to chat with me while I held my sign. He's a die-hard Republican. He told me not to worry, that all his Red friends were voting No on 8. His words, "Everyone knows that that's ridiculous."

Somewhere in the middle of this, I started to think about Portia and Ellen deGeneres. Were they freaking out? Calling their lawyers? Standing on street corners like me? I decided to txt @laGringa and call our tax accountant. If we were going to get enough of a tax break, that would be reason enough to head down to the courthouse. We agreed to go, made an appointment for 4 p.m. when a mass marriage was being held for folks that had the same idea we did. I drove to the courthouse and... well, that's as far as we got. I chickened out.

As the polls unfolded last night, @laGringa and I were profoundly sad. Were we such bad people that we should give more rights to animals and less to us? How do we explain that to our children?

Today, we have gotten condolence calls, hugs, txts, voicemails and emails. I sat on a bench rewinding the last few days and came away with this: I live in a community that stands by me, for me and grieves with me. I live where I am free, treated with respect and dignity. There is not one same-sex couple on my street, yet there are multiple "No on 8" lawn signs up and down the little suburban nook I live in. I am blessed.

Indeed, we lost basic civil rights last night. It is serious and grotesque and it's not over yet. But that was last night. The fallout for me has been profound: I gained a reminder of how lucky I am, how honored we are to live amongst such an extraordinary community. And further reminded how deeply I adore and respect my spouse.

Follow 24 Hours of Election Day from My Perspective

I'm using the Flip to catalog events on this historic election day from our little town.

You can follow it here!

1 - Obama and McCain are Like Tom and Jerry

1 - Obama and McCain are Like Tom and Jerry, originally uploaded by Thing Family.

Not Quite the Blue I Was Hoping For

I don't know why it is that I assume that every.single.person I know and respect must be an Obama voter. I didn't say Obama fan, freak or bumper-sticker-holder, but simply an Obama Voter.

But my view of the world, quite obviously isn't shared by all, and certainly not all that I know. Four examples this week kicked me flat on my face in disbelief. What can I learn from it? I'm not sure. Do I care enough to invest in trying to change just one vote? Nah, not in California since CA is going to go to Obama. But you have a look-see and tell me what you think:

Two hot girls walk into a bar and start chatting with the bartender...

Description: Tatooed dude, overweight but jolly, kind eyes.
Lifestyle: Broke and happy. Loves his life as a single dad, loves his kid, great smile.
On Obama: He's the worse of two evils.
On Palin: She's so fucking hot. Don't you think she's hot?
On McCain: ...
On voting Red: I am not that into the idea of scaling down the military since I'm a military guy; my dad was in the military and I was in the Navy. I didn't like it when Clinton did that. It pissed me off.

On being Anti-choice: I got a girl pregnant. I'd never let her have an abortion. She wasn't my girlfriend. I just was a man about it. You gotta step up. I stepped up, so that's not an excuse.

The Boy Next Door...

Description: White guy, medium build, football and sports fan/coach/ref.
Lifestyle: Family guy, divorced and remarried, young kids, straight laced, Catholic.
On Obama: He doesn't have hardly any experience. He'd better pick a good running mate, but that won't make a difference for me.
On Romney: He should be President. He knows how to run a business and America is just one big troubled business.
On McCain: ...
On voting Red: I'm voting for the most experienced candidate. And I don't want any more taxes.

Playground Whispers...

Description: Two white women with young children under age 12.
Lifestyle: Relatively upper middle class, married, church going, community involved, SAHMs.
On Obama: I wish they would have had him run for office in eight years. It's just too early. I am older than him!
On Palin: She's got it all together. It's great to see a woman who has it all: work and family. ...They are going to call her a bitch, but if it was a man, they'd call her tough.
On McCain: He's gonna die in office and Palin will be President.
On voting Red: She represents 'us'.

I'm a Libertarian, Right Dad?
Description: White first-time voter male
Lifestyle: Middle class, great family, junior college
On Obama: He doesn't know jack shit. He's trying to be too popular.
On Palin: She's cool. She's not going to be President anyway.
On McCain: He's obviously the most experienced one.
On voting Red: Since Ralph Nader isn't in the election, I'm going with McCain.
On Abortion: I only had one girlfriend have to have an abortion. Mexico is like a six-hour drive if abortion was ever illegal anyway.


I've had my ears open for a couple of weeks, trying to understand outside perspectives. I'm not going to knock on doors, make calls or invade people's privacy; it's just not me. Not to mention, in some cases, La Gringa and I could swing a vote in the wrong direction, so I'm trying to be mindful there too.

I am constantly amazed at how, like CNN reported today: "We keep telling them the facts, but people want to vote the way they want to vote, despite facts." (in reference to Palin lying about the Bridge to Nowhere fiasco). I wonder, is it just smart, sophisticated people that vote Blue in this election? Maybe that's why I counted 14 Obama lawn signs within 1/2 mile radius of my house, but not a single one for McCain. Are there lawn signs for McCain in Pennsylvania? I'd like to know...

And it's just not in my neighborhood that I'm seeing such strong, unexpected divisions: On Twitter, I've had to unfollow several people whose daily lives I've followed for more than six months because of the aggressive stance in favor of Sarah Palin and John McCain. One woman I correspond with sent me a "Which Candidate Kills Babies" document. In many cases, on Twitter, in particular, people are drawing lines bases on political affiliation in a zone I've thought to be agnostic and accepting.

Facebook seems to be much more in-line with my own philosophies, but a bit trendy in the Obama frenzy. It's cool to be an Obama fan. My ex-boss is a state senator in a swing state, and he even has backed off from being vocal. Facebook appears to be a popularity contest where Obama is king.

There is hope, though: I've yet to see a "McCain is my Homeboy" t-shirt.

dear god

Dear God,

I hope you're doing well. Thanks for the awesome summer and the incredible kidlets and and family. All's good down here. Kindergarten is fine, except for that one little hiccup on the second day of school and we're really loving Spanish Immersion, even if the kids can't understand a thing, but hey, they didn't understand a word at their Hebrew preschool either. Leg-up, I say.

Anyway, the house is good, even though the disposal and dishwasher don't work which is kind of a mind-trip since this is only my third week as a nearly stay at-home mom. Are you testing me, God? Because I think you won the last round when I didn't know how much bleach goes in the wash and poured it all over my khakis (stay at home moms wear khakis).

Thanks, God for the awesome job you worked out for La Gringa. She really loves it. We now truly embrace the goodness of mobile porn like never before. But trust in her, truly, that if there is entertainment beyond porn to be found, La Gringa will make it happen. Before you know it, those booby videos will be slapstick somethingruther instead and that will please you, I'm sure.

I've got one small request (well, beyond helping me figure out the whole smudges on the baseboards thing), can you please, since she claims to speak to you in tongues, go tell your loyal follower Sarah Palin to step off my jock? In fact, can you help her find her way to, um, I don't know, Russia (since she can see it from Alaska), or even um, something a little more up her alley, like how about Steve Irwin's old job? She could be the Barracuda Hunter. She'd like that. And so would I.

Oh and one more thing, God, I think you're cool for doing this whole Women Can Have it All thing. It's really been an eye opener, um, sort of. WWMMD (What Would Mary Magdeline Do)?

Amen.

HRC Baby, You Know Me

I feel like I need to get this on "paper" for my daughter: Thank you Hillary Clinton for your work tonight. You represented me, my mother and my daughter so well. You made history tonight; feminine, a pro, direct, American, a class act. I can't imagine what it was like tonight for you. But I'll tell you what it did in this family:

"Eighteen million cracks in the ceiling," makes it just a tiny bit easier for my girl to blast through it someday.

Iraqi War is Older Than My Kindergarten-Age Children

I don't know a lot about the war in Iraq. I don't get why we're there, don't get why we're staying and don't understand what it truly has to do with oil. I am not a war monger, I'm not a peace freak. I believe war is a part of society, for all the ugly hate that it is. The two saddest war moments I know of are the memory of my uncle dying in Vietnam (and our family's hatred of Jane Fonda) and the intricacy of Les Miserables. It's pathetic, I know.

That all said, something hit me super hard yesterday:

The US invaded Iraq on March 20, 2003. The Things were born July 16, 2003. This damn war has been going on four months longer than my kindergarten-age children have been alive.

Stunned me. Stuck with me all day.

I'll Take the Prostitue Governor over You, Sally Kern, Hate Monger

Ms. Kern,

I will not use this email to blast you, although I'm sure by now, thousands have. I have read the remarks you made, I have watched the video, I have thought about what to tell you and here is what I have to say:

I am a very intelligent, productive, church-going, God-loving, mother of twins. I am active in my local community in everything from bake sales to reaching out to homeless and battered women. I give 10 % of my tithe to charity, as the bible asks of us and I spend much time with my two beautiful children teaching them to be kind, thoughtful, generous, loving people who contribute to the lives around them in a positive manner.

I would go so far as to say, our family is downright popular, well respected, very well liked and incredibly reared as one of the happiest, most stable, loving families in our city. Our extended families, our parents, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces, grandparents, great-grandparents -- spanning various generations, political, social and spiritual beliefs -- are beyond proud of our family, always welcomed with open arms and certainly not one single ounce of prejudice against us.

We deeply and directly renounce your statements and hope that God, the good the loving Lord, will forgive you for playing the role of Satan, bringing your evil words to your public service. I hope, like me, you will pray for your own salvation and, I also pray that the people of our country will forgive you for your hatred toward their fellow Americans.

I look forward to your personal growth and the positive forward movement you will make on behalf of the Terrorism you have committed to the people of Oklahoma and this Country.

From HillBlog Today

"We're putting everything on the line. Contribute $5 now. I am counting on your leadership and financial support. Please do all you can -- and act as quickly as possible. -- Thanks, Hillary

Eeesh. Desperation. Sets. In. Gasping. For. Air. Can't. Breathe. Can't. Win.

I hope to hell she does the next month gracefully...

That's a United States Senator and the Most Powerful Woman in Media You're Fucking With

I really don't give a shit about tabloids and I never, ever pick one up, muchless give the lying bastards the satisfaction of buying their crap. For the most part, headlines like "Aliens Landing in South Texas" and "Mystery Cornfield Revealed" don't bug me. Even the Princess Di beating the dead to death stories don't phase me and I must say, I believe celebrities are fair game.

That said, I draw the line with this tabloid cover. I want to be really clear here, who the heck do you think you are to fuck with a man who is a United States Senator running for the highest office in our country? Who is the dipwit who thought it was a good idea to take the most powerful woman in entertainment (who won her seat through blood, sweat, tears and good old fashioned kickass business sense) and position her against a man she supports politically?

You fricking rat bastards, have some respect for the man who just might be the one protecting your sorry First Amendment Ass.

I Swear I Don't Remember "Super Delegates" in my 5th Grade Social Studies Class...

Woth 2.5 minutes (even if you're a scary Mormon conservative).

Well, this video wouldn't make me run out and vote for Obama, but it sure as heck makes me want to buy Wil.I.Am's single Yes We Can.

According to Wil.I.Am (the Black Eyed Peas dude), he wrote this piece after the New Hampshire primary and celebrity friends jumped on-board. He told ABC that he has no idea of Obama even knows about the video. It's not sponsored or supported by the politician or political group.

You gotta give it to a guy that inspires people enough to write a song is about him. Obama's now in the Norma Jean -- Lalia -- Stacey's Mom club.

Hey John!: En Una Boca Cerrada, No Entran Moscas

Okay, so Chelsea might have been an ugly kid and I might have had some really hardcore foul language for people who tortured me. I might even hint at Putin being KGB-eque, but I'm not cool with McCain being ruler of the free world:

* In 1998, McCain was chastised for making an off-color joke at a Republican fundraiser about President Clinton's daughter, Chelsea, saying "Why is Chelsea Clinton so ugly? Because her father is Janet Reno."

* McCain openly used the term "gook", in reference to his Vietnamese torturers during the Vietnam War, even since his return as a POW.[42] During the 2000 presidential campaign, he repeatedly refused to apologize for his continued use of the term, stating that he reserved its reference only to his captors.

* In March 2007, McCain apologized for using the term "tar baby" in response to a question in Cedar Falls, Iowa, about overturning divorce court decisions. Although he was not using the term in reference to African Americans, he agreed he was wrong to use a term that some view as having racist overtones.

* During a campaign appearance in Murrells Inlet, South Carolina on April 18, 2007, McCain was asked a question about possible military action against Iran. He responded by singing “Bomb bomb bomb, bomb bomb Iran” to the melody of the Beach Boys' song "Barbara Ann", reminiscent of a 1980 parody by Vince Vance & The Valiants. When later confronted about the matter, McCain stated, "My response is lighten up, and get a life." Asked whether the joke he made was insensitive, McCain retorted, "Insensitive to what? The Iranians?"

* During a taping of The Daily Show on April 24, 2007, host Jon Stewart asked McCain, "What do you want to start with, the bomb Iran song or the walk through the market in Baghdad?" McCain responded by saying, "I think maybe shopping in Baghdad ... I had something picked out for you, too — a little IED to put on your desk."

* On May 18, 2007, during a meeting to negotiate immigration legislation, McCain swore at fellow Senator John Cornyn (R-Texas) after Cornyn expressed concerns about the number of appeals that illegal immigrants could receive. According to multiple sources, Cornyn told McCain, "Wait a second here. I've been sitting in here for all of these negotiations and you just parachute in here on the last day. You're out of line," to which McCain replied, "Fuck you! I know more about this than anyone else in the room.


Holy shit, this guy could be the leader of the free world?

Mommy Power

This was emailed by a mom I know today to one of my mommy playgroups.

This is an open invitation to drop your kids(s) off for a short
playdate on Tuesday so that you can vote tomorrow. I know that there
are many obstacles for us Moms to get out and do things on our lists,
so I'm hoping that I can help you overcome one of them. I have
personally been inspired by a candidate this year that each one of us
CAN make a difference.

This is not a bid to get your vote for one candidate- whether you're a
democrat, republican or independent etc. Just be heard tomorrow and VOTE!

Call or email is you think you'll be stopping by-but also feel free to
drop in if you find a few moments. I will be home all day!

Never, Ever Underestimate the Power of the Mommys.

It's an Oath You Crazy Freak

Presidential Oath of the United States of America:

"I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will faithfully execute the office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States."

Presidential Candidates Mike Huckabee (on wanting to ban abortion and same-sex marriage in order to bring the U.S. in line with "God's standards)':

"I believe it's a lot easier to change the Constitution than it would be to change the Word of the Living God."

Presidential Debate Couch Potato, La Gringa:

"It's called 'separation of church and state', crazy freak."

...but maybe Governor Huckabee will just change that part of the Constitution too.

Bobble-Heads-to-Head

La Gringa and I have a pact: the Mormon freak-o-matic wins the election and we're moving to Italy. Not even joking...and you know me well enough to know we're on the next plane if another religious freak runs our Country.

Oh, and for that matter, double goes for Mike Huckabee who said gay people are sinners then backtracked and said that everyone is a sinner.

I'm sinning next to a very hot, crazy smart hottie who happens to be my wife.

The Election Year Has Begun...oh Shit

So, I'm stumped. I am not a very savvy follower of politics, however, this election means so much to me. I look at my kids and start to understand that this election really, truly *means* something to me.

In 2000, I traveled the world, carefree, freaked out about how selfish and shitty I saw America to be. Somewhere between Izmir and Dubai the election nightmare of George Bush and Al Gore happened. My own personal politics aside: I was forced into defending my country. People laughing out loud in languages I didn't need to understand to get the joke; headlines blaring the complete lameness of our election system; standoffs on CNN International that would determine my daily safety. Fuck, it sucked. And I had filed an absentee ballot earlier, my candidate not even in the running.

By the time I got to Singapore, it became clear that the US had no leader. No one was elected. No one was President. Sure, Clinton was still in office, but it was a joke to the International community. People openly mocked America. I vowed to never, ever pay taxes in a country that could elect George Bush with an Attorney General who claims to speak in tongues. I was horrified.

But then it happened. I began to defend my country in a way I didn't know I had in me. I started talking to Muslim women, Australian old men, Singapore-based businessmen, frankly anyone who would listen. And this was my mantra: I LIVE IN A FREE COUNTRY. I LIVE WHERE WE CAN VOTE. AND THIS DEBATE OF OWNERSHIP IS DEMOCRACY AT ITS FINEST. SHOW ME A MORE DEMOCRATIC COUNTRY AND I WILL LIVE THERE.

I won a shitload of battles that way. I was an American abroad. That shizzit really moved me then. By the time GW Bush was re-elected, I'd lost my spunk. Two small children, a war, dwindling savings... it just seemed like the neverending black cloud. I could not have been happier when Bush's ratings began to fall... and never more freaked out. What were those dozens of people in two dozen open-air cafes, convinced of my passionate democratic position doing now?

Last year, just as I began to buy into the IHateBush, BringThemHome philosophy complete with the Bush Countdown to Exist Whitehouse Calendar, I was reminded of my passion for the democratic process when I realized that a Black Man and a Woman were true potential future leaders of the US.

I told La Gringa that if either of them got the nomination, I would quit my job and volunteer, knocking door-to-door, begging for one single, solitary vote.

So here we are. Obama and Clinton, head-to-head... and me, wondering where I stand.

As a woman, I feel a responsibility to put passion and support behind other women. Sound lame? Well, I've watched my own mother transform near whores into classy, thoughtful, loyal executives...all in the spirit of women supporting women.

As a believer, I feel the passion and yearning to vote for, support and believe in Obama. I love his youth, it reminds me of Kennedy. I love the crap shoot of someone inexperienced but smart and full of desire. I want a black president so bad it's not funny. Not to mention, an Obama '08 bumper sticker would be rad. A Clinton one? Eeek.

My problem is this: if I wanted a woman in office, it would be Nancy Pelosi. If I wanted a black man in office it would be Colin Powell. There are no two ways about it.

So, do I want a chick in office, or a black dude in office? Yeah, I do. But I want the *right* chick in office; the right black dude in office.

...and as we begin the real race to save our country, I am completely fucking wigged out about what to do.