Monday, December 3

Hollow Leg with Pit Stop in My Ass and Thighs

It's not a matter of want, it's a matter of need. Since training with Lisa started about four months ago, I cannot stop eating. I am STARVING. I try sushi and starve. I try a little steak and starve. I try a bowl of once-forbidden pasta and starve. I simply cannot get satiated.

I can out-eat and out-drink almost everyone. I can put away four or five slices of pizza. I can eat salad out of an industrial-size bowl. I can drink a bottle of wine without blinking. I simply cannot get to the point where I'm not hungry. And no, a-hole, I am not pregnant.

I try all the tricks... drink a ton of water (made me want to pee and eat), drink tea (again, pee then eat). I eat large helpings of steamed asparagus and broccoli to ward off the dinner that's yet to be served...then chomp all my food and La Gringa's too.

There is no end in sight. I had three servings of Indian food on Saturday (a Cardinal Sin) which topped off the day of eating four different kinds of pig. Twelve hours later, I ate a giant eggwhite fritatta, three cups of coffee, a nonfat latte and 1/2 of my kid's french toast for breakfast the next morning. I left wondering what was for lunch.

One day, in lieu of raiding the service counter at Bills for hashbrowns, I ordered THREE Nonfat Eggnog Lattes from Starbucks. An hour later, I was farting up a storm and trolling through the ready-made, single-serveThanksgiving meals at Whole Foods. Last week I made the whole family go to Japanese food where I ate nearly 40 pieces of Sushi...guess what? I left there...hungry.

Maybe it's psychological, but to be frank, I've never been happier in all of my life and each day is the greatest day (besides 7.16.03) I have ever had. It's weird what a good healthy relationship can do... too bad it can't curb my appetite.


The Babbler said...

Please please make that headline into a t-shirt! ;-O