The Case of the Mysterious Vomit

Investigation began when vomit was found in downstairs bathroom sink by Thing 1 and Mommy at 8 a.m. Both children and both parents deny any vomit episodes. Further inquiry and bribery into children's behavior subsequently corroborated their story: not puke perps.

Suspects:

Thing 1 : Discovered vomit, called it "poo in the sink" admitted to throwing up "when I was 3" but not today. When bribed with ice cream, said that it was not him.

Thing 2: Said surprised: "No, mom," when asked if she'd thrown up in the sink. A towel was in her bed, mysteriously, but not soiled. When bribed with ice cream, said it was not her, "and that's the truth."

La Gringa: Said she did not vomit, claiming that she couldn't vomit if she tried to do so, and despite being on a diet currently. Never noticed the vomit in the sink, despite being in the bathroom several times.

Me: The only person to eat carrots (carrots were in the vomit along with a lot of leafy green looking things.) and the co-founder of the vomit in the sink with Thing 1.

Friend with Bulimia : Visiting for the night. Lifetime bulimic who has type 1 diabetes. Neither La Gringa or I saw her go to the bathroom. She left about 11 p.m. after several glasses of wine.

This is an open case. Send any information to our tip line!

Junk in the Trunk

So I Guess They're not Dumb -- Quotes from this Week

Thing 1: "That lady's boobies hang so low it's like a dripping ice cream cone."

Thing 2: "I can't take your jacket, because then *you'd* be cold."

Thing 1: "The sunroof makes a breezy breeze flowing through the car and it makes me feel good and windy and happy."

Thing 1: "Sorry friend, I can't be your *best* friend. My mommy is my best friend already."

Thing 2: "Can you invite my grandma to the movies too? Just give her a call. She *loves* movies."